Once More With Feeling

As a goal, I'm going to aim for #36 to be my best shape year. That means working for it now. 

There's no better day than today to get started.

There are so many things in my life I feel like I know what I need to do, but I just fall short of energy or something. It's like there's a magic wall in between myself and the thing I need to do. And then my ADHD kite catches a different breath of wind and I sail off in another direction. 

So. Here's what I need to do... This is really my top priority and the easiest to accomplish. 

Quit drinking alcohol. 

• It steals my energy and focus. When I'm trying to work on something, it's harder to keep centered on the task and I often wander off to other things. The next day, I'm much more likely to desire or require a midday nap in order to recharge. That in itself is a bad wheel that leads to staying awake later the next night and needing to sleep more during the next day. 

• It causes me to eat when I don't need to, beyond the empty calories of the alcohol itself, which has lead to unnecessary fat weight gain. 

• It lowers inhibitions and makes me more likely to make poor decisions especially regarding drinking more, or engaging in other self harm activities. 

• Sometimes if I drink to excess, it makes me physically ill and I end up puking all the next day if I'm particularly unlucky and unwise.

So I am "officially" self-imposing a 6-month sabbatical from alcohol at home.

While I certainly could, and should quit outright, I do still get enjoyment from the taste of various drinks and the feeling of getting tipsy-smashed.

So a good middle ground between the up and down-sides is to only allow myself to drink when I'm away from home. I spend what feels like 99% of my time at home and that's where drinking is really a long-term issue.

This will assist in slightly more exercise in order to get out places, or greater social interaction because it forces me into a social situation, whereas drinking at home can be done alone.

If getting really drunk is desired, arrangements for transport or accommodations must be made beforehand.  

Otherwise, only the amount of alcohol that can reasonably be metabolized in the time spent can be consumed. Which will help keep the drink quantity down.

The point is to make it harder to drink to excess. It can still be done but it requires getting myself up and out of the house and being proactive. And since I'm invested in my healing and I am making this choice of my own accord, I know I'm not liable to follow the letter but not the intent of my self-imposed rule: There's no chance that I'm going to fill up a flask, take a walk around the block to get hammered and call that "getting out of the house".

I had alcohol last night (probably as late as 2am...) so the first full day without a drop will start tomorrow, but I'll count today as the start of the ~180 clock. I'm not going to count the days closely, though I might responsibly celebrate landmarks along the way. I think I've done a 3-plus-month stint  alcohol-free, but I don't think I've done 6 months. I don't anticipate any issues with succeeding in this goal, as I feel I have the strength of resolve that I usually do when I make a decision like this and successfully follow through on my word.

So. That's an easy first step. I moved alcoholic beverages out of sight, though I won't have any issue with them being in the house. I've notified at least one friend. I don't really need to do anything else to accomplish that task. So I can move swiftly on to the next.

I'm going to work on getting my food intake back in check with some kind of meal plan. Then I'm going to get back into exercise.

Then all at the same time, I'm going to figure out other things I should or want to be working on and get a priority list going for those as well.

Wish me luck. .. No not luck. Wish me motivation and determination.